Words that have defined my life in 2019: uncertainty, grind, work, passion, excitement, and fulfillment. As 2019 flies past its first month it says only two words to me, “Get ready.”
This month has been filled with new beginnings, new jobs, new promises, new passions, and new-found motivation.
I’ve always been someone who has many passions, but focusing on them and pursing them with all that I can has been an issue. The year 2018 ended with me being enthralled with the idea of being able to manage my money and making it work for me. Thinking about being competent with finances and being able to be my own boss made me so excited. When 2019 began, I was finishing a book about business at least once a week and was filled with excitement. I was creating business ideas, some good and some not, and sharing them with my friends. My passion fueled me all month. I began working as much as I could, taking extra babysitting jobs and just getting that hustle. I began getting so motivated and never sat still. You’d never catch me sitting around in January, no sir. January was the month of HUSTLE. Everybody can complain and come up with excuses, but that’s for the boring. I realized how much more interesting my life is when I’m chasing things that make me excited- things that I’m passionate. Watching YouTube for an hour isn’t as fulfilling as creating something I’m proud of.
I started making YouTube videos, and this was the most exciting thing I did this month, but also the most unnerving. I put myself out into the world and onto a platform that complete strangers would watch me on (up to 117 strangers to be exact). It wasn’t even the strangers that scared me, it was the people I did know. People I knew that might be thinking I was crazy, but at the end of the day, who’s going to care when I actually make it? Those are the words of Gary Vaynerchuck, not me, I’m not that harsh. Although I do agree, I’m making moves. I’m not just floating down the same stream going the same slow speed as I was before, and that’s how it starts, right? It’s all about just pushing a little faster than before.
January showed me old passions I used to love, dusted them off, and gave them back to me. I’ve always been passionate about children with special needs, but for the past couple of years I haven’t really been pursing anything with that- this year I started a new job where I’m working mainly with children that have special needs and it’s made me realize how much I truly enjoy it. It’s made me realize that I seriously want my life to be involved in helping children with special needs. So, I’ve realized that I want my life to be about ministry, business, and children with special needs. Where does that leave me? Good question. It left me completely clueless. I prayed for wisdom and knowledge during the 21 day fast I did with my church during January and felt pretty confused (and pretty hungry), but on the last day talking to some old friends in the Holy Land, our local Target, I realized why I have to pick a passion. This small idea sparked a whole lot of ideas, conversations with God, and mostly excitement. I felt like the girl from the taco commercial.
So, then the promise of someday doing a ministry with children with special needs formed itself in my heart. Isn’t it funny how sometimes we end up in the same place we started with the Lord? A little nine-year-old Hannah Vinson had her heart filled with excitement when her church asked for help in the special needs classroom and now the much bigger nineteen year old Hannah Vinson had her heart filled up with excitement when she realized that the Lord says to use your gifts, and doesn’t give you ones He doesn’t want you to use. The idea that God wants to give you the desires of your heart when you rejoice in Him has always been a hard notion for me to understand, but when God knew my desires before I even knew them myself, it really helped me understand this concept a lot more. Goodness, I love my Father.
Here we are, January 31, 2019, a new month will be starting tomorrow and that could be a new beginning for you, or you could want to continue the success you had in January. Whichever one is the case, just remember that 2019 is and will be a fantastic year, I can feel it. This year just feels different- it feels better.
